


Rewards

by thesometimeswarrior



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-12
Updated: 2015-11-12
Packaged: 2018-05-01 05:35:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5194148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesometimeswarrior/pseuds/thesometimeswarrior
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"He sprinted up the stairs, stopping not even to breathe, and threw open the door, stopping dead in the threshold.  There she was, on the bed: alarmingly pale—paler than Severus had ever seen her—save for her fiery hair and blank, emerald eyes, but certainly alive.  'Lily.' Her eyes flitted toward him, but she otherwise didn’t move. For a heart-stopping moment, he wondered if she could…perhaps the Dark Lord had injured her, impaired her mobility.  When he took a step to approach, he saw the flash of red on her arm; 'For Severus' was carved on her forearm like a gift-tag. "</p><p>On that fateful night, instead of killing Lily when she refuses to stand aside, Voldemort decides to bring her to Snape as a reward for his loyalty.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rewards

_Thump-thump. Thump-thump._ He couldn’t recall the last time he had felt his heart pound like this, like it was going to shatter his ribcage. Perhaps it never had before. The closest it had come, he thought, was several months ago when he cowered before Dumbledore, asking—no _begging_ —for his help, or, if not then, only shortly before as the Dark Lord branded the Mark onto his forearm—a reward for unwittingly betraying his one true love.

She was alive. Or so said the Dark Lord. Severus didn’t trust him, never had. But the Dark Lord didn’t lie, not generally. If he had killed her, surely he would have taunted him with that knowledge, rubbed it in his face, used it as a way to stamp the weakness out of his loyal follower. But he hadn’t. Instead, the Mark had burned (something he didn’t think he’d ever grow accustomed to), and when Severus had Apparated to his master’s side, the Dark Lord had hissed “ _I brought her back for you. Alive, as requested. Did I not tell you I know how to reward loyalties, Severus?”_

He sprinted up the stairs, stopping not even to breathe, and threw open the door, stopping dead in the threshold. There she was, on the bed: alarmingly pale—paler than Severus had ever seen her—save for her fiery hair and blank, emerald eyes, but certainly alive. “Lily.”

Her eyes flitted toward him, but she otherwise didn’t move. For a heart-stopping moment, he wondered if she could…perhaps the Dark Lord had injured her, impaired her mobility. When he took a step to approach, he saw the flash of red on her arm; _“For Severus”_ was carved on her forearm like a gift-tag. 

He gritted his teeth. “I…uh…I have some Dittany. Will fix that up for you.” Sitting down on the bed next to her, he waved his wand in a silent summoning spell and caught the jar that zoomed from his bag. “H-Here!” he said. With immense tenderness, Severus dripped the liquid onto her arm. There was a puff of green, and then to his satisfaction, the wound faded at once.

“There,” said Severus. “Wasn’t too bad, was it? Healed up easily enough!”

Lily said nothing.

“I—I am so glad” continued Severus. “That you’re okay. I begged Him to spare you. I pleaded, I offered myself, but…I didn’t know if…I didn’t think he would listen to me. I mean, who am I, right? Some young follower, newly Marked anyway…”

“You should have let him kill me.” The faintness of her voice made Severus’s heart drop.

“I couldn’t have.” She was missing the point! “Lily, I _saved_ you.”

“Were you expecting gratitude? Do you want me to thank you? I could have protected my baby! My child is dead! I could have saved him, but instead he body-bound me and thrust me aside—and I had to watch him kill Ha-Ha-Harry.”

“You wouldn’t have been able to save him,” said Severus coldly. “The Dark Lord would have cast the Killing Curse on you and then on him. You’d both have died, and you know it.”

“Then I should have died trying to protect my child!” She sat up suddenly, forcefully. “As James did! As any parent would. Any parent should be able to die sooner than watch their child die! But you wouldn’t understand. You don’t, you couldn’t understand this love.”

“What?!” It was more harshly than he had intended, but something like rage had stirred in him when she had mentioned Potter’s name. “You think _I_ don’t understand love? I do! Lily, I—” He took a deep breath. “I love you.”

“I know you think you do.” This was not the shocked reaction that Severus anticipated. He almost vocalized this, when Lily continued. “I know you’ve thought so since we were children. But whatever this is, it’s not love. If you loved me, you’d have been happy when I was happy, you’d have let me go after I married James—”

“How could I, when you were with that oaf?”

“DON’T YOU DARE!” she sprang up, and instinctually reached for her wand. Finding that it wasn’t there—it had been taken from her—she settled for grabbing Severus’s chin. “DON’T YOU DARE SAY A WORD AGAINST JAMES!”

Severus felt the rage swelling in him and grabbed her wrist, forcefully yanking it away from his face. “Why shouldn’t I? You’d have been mine if I hadn’t been so stupid and called you a—”

“Is that what you think? That because you had been my friend I’d have…have _…married_ you? Severus, I never felt that way about you—when we were kids, you were one of my best friends, but even then...And, even after you called me…that name, it just opened my eyes to who you were. It didn’t… _I_ didn’t… Merlin, it wasn’t a punishment! We never would have been what you wanted, anyway!”

“But…No, I do love you. I _do_. Because look, I still begged the Dark Lord to spare you—I risked my life, Lily! When he said he thought it would be your son after I told him the prophecy—”

“ _You_ told him the prophecy?!”

Severus, quickly realizing he’d made a mistake, did not respond.

“ _You_ killed my husband and child! It’s because of _you_!”

“But…But I saved _you_.”

“Damn it, don’t you see—I DON’T WANT TO LIVE WITHOUT THEM!” She howled, and then reached for the bed as she started to sob. Severus, afraid she’d be heard, that someone would burst in, and though baffled, pained to see her like this, reached to put a comforting hand on her shoulder. But Lily yelped, “NO, DON’T TOUCH ME!” 

He recoiled as though burnt. She sobbed, uttering “Harry, Harry” and “James” for several minutes, while he watched awkwardly, unsure of what to do. He had saved her…why didn’t she see? 

When the sobs finally subsided, Lily stood and met Severus’s gaze, what little feeling had been in her eyes was gone. “I take it I belong to you now then. That’s why I’m here. That’s why there’s a bed. So get on with it. Do what you’re going to do.”

He inhaled, aghast. “I…no. I would never. Not you.”

Then, surprising himself, he said, “You need to go. Take my wand and Aparate to Dumbledore. Or to…wherever your lot is.”

He expected her to protest, or maybe he just hoped she would. But she, expressionless, merely took the offered wand from him.

“I don’t suppose I’ll see you again,” he said.

“No,” replied Lily.

There was a pop, and Severus was alone.

**Author's Note:**

> When Deathly Hallows first came out in 2007, I, like so many, found myself sympathetic to Snape and his angsty love. My heart went out to him, and I very much saw him as a hero. Eight years of experience and growing up so that I am now the age that he and Lily would have been in 1981 has changed that for me a bit. I wanted to explore the ramifications of his actions if Lily had had the chance to confront him for it.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed!


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